Talk Nerdy to Me

My brain hurts. I feel a bit isolated here in my room due to studying microenterprenurial (sp?!) programs in America as part of an economic social policy aimed at lifting people and families out of poverty. While I find the topic interesting, I am very tired of reading and trying to formulate a focus paper on it. This, by the way, would be only part of a greater poverty eradication program in the US. I see it as both beneficial to bringing those enterprising souls out of their current position and a bit of prevention as well - you know, breaking the cycle. It is not, however, a cure-all by any means. Make me stop. It hurts. Everything is fuzzy...

If I had a magic 8 ball and I asked it if I am going to be sleep deprived this week, it would respond "outlook good". I am in for a heck of a week - 3 assignments due, 2 meetings with professors, I start working at the grad center 6 hours a week, my Japanese tutoree returns from Peru and reading. Lots and lots of reading.

The thing is, I do not think I have ever been happier in my life. Even sitting here, feeling the need for some human contact - a hug would be great - I am happy. I worked almost 29 years to get here. Holy cow, I am almost 29 years old! Before you know it, I will be 30, then 40...

Back to the journal articles. Please write me if you get a chance. I am feeling a bit disconnected! Pull my head out of the journals and blurry lines of policy...if only for a moment.

Leave it to me...

As some of you may know, I have an incredible knack of embarrassing myself by saying the wrong thing to the wrong people. Some of you may remember the time I teased Nona's dad about getting pedicures with us, not knowing the man was missing toenails due to a lawnmower accident. Unfortunately for you, my gentle readers, this next skill of mine is not so entertaining. I have a 6 page social policy analysis paper due on Tuesday where I could pick ANY social issue to work on and what do I pick? Microeconomic loans to women. You might say to yourself: that sounds interesting...what's the catch? The catch is the US Government does not presently HAVE a social policy program that is similar to the other programs (although run by NGOs) around the world. So, what does my professor suggest I do? Create the policy!! Of course, not in six pages, but still. Why do I make things harder for myself? I can't track this issue in the news! It has absolutely NOTHING to do with current American Social policies like, oh, Social Security, Health Care, TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families), tax credits....the list goes on and on. So, not only do I have to have a knowledge base on how these programs operate in the developing world, I now, through divine intervention (because that is what it will take), have to figure out if it would even be remotely feasible in the current US system and if it would, in fact, help individuals and families break the cycle of poverty!!!!!! Stay tuned for future laments and progress reports...if, for some reason you are interested in what I am researching, please, let me know. I would be happy to share...

Cuba Libre

Greetings from the City of Brotherly Love! This week is Philadephia Restraunt week so, at participating restaraunts, patrons can get an appetizer, entree and dessert for $30. Nona and I ventured to Old City to a very cool restraunt, Cuba Libre. Our meal started with a delicious crab bisque, followed by seared Mahi Mahi with a pistachio crust and black bean sauce, ending with a delicious vanilla flan with a wee apple breaded something on top. How could I forget the mojito??? Mmmm, cool and refreshing. I don't know how Cuban this meal was (I will guess it is not very 'authentic'), but it was totally delicious and the perfect amount of food. So Nona and I had the experience I was so longing for in the previous post. The inside of the restraunt is awesome, with palm trees, high ceilings windows that open on to the street and waiters in white shirts. Who knows when, on my graduate student budget, I will be able to have an experience like this again, but I look forward to it. Maybe I should hang out around Wharton more - ah ha ha ha ha, just kidding. I doubt it would be worth the trade off, although I will keep an open mind and not pre-judge....
Here's a link to the restaraunt: http://www.cubalibrerestaurant.com/philly_index.php

Meet me at the Wrecking Ball

Firstly, I would like to thank those of you who comment on my blog - I really enjoy reading your thoughts on what I say and just want to thank you. Profusely.

Secondly, I want to apologize for my absence the past few days. I had my first reading log and paper due this week, along with an almost obscene amount of reading. But excuses are lame. Still, please bear with me.

I am still enjoying being here at Penn and recently became a member of the Student Advisory Board at the Women's Center. I am not sure what this means or entails, but I am looking forward to our first meeting. This is the first year of the Board's existence as well so we can grow together. Issues surrounding gender are interesting to me, to say the least, and if I research what I think it will, they are central to my inquiries. I think it is interesting how I fell the need to tell people, especially the men in my life, that I do not hate men or see them as oppressors in the same breath as that I am thinking about studying gender issues and inequalities through the lens of poverty. I think it is safe to say, if you know me, that it is obvious that I do not hate men. Indeed, there are so many of you in my life that you cannot dismiss our friendship as the "token" male one. Still, why do I feel automatically defensive on this issue of femininity and feminism in general? Is it my own insecurity and assumptions? Why do I feel that your image of a feminist is one that initially negative?

I love all these questions in my head and, for quite possibly the first time in my life, am perfectly ok with not having the answers. On to a much shallower subject, I want to go to a nice dinner, where the food is exquisite, the atmosphere warm and the company engaging. "meet me at the wrecking ball...I'll wear something pretty and we'll go dancing..."

Knowledge or Values

Knowledge: an understanding of what is
Values: a preference of what ought to be

These two words need to be closely reviewed by almost everybody I know, including myself. I have to remind myself often that my understanding of what is, in reality, is really how I think it ought to be. These 2 words are used interchangeably in our current political climate and I believe this is dangerous. We all have our own version of the way things out to be (thank you Rush Limbaugh for making that a title of one your books) - indeed the way we would like things to be often fuels us to achieve and struggle for what ever it is we are working towards. That is not inherently wrong or bad. But let us not confuse our values with knowledge.

Righteous Indignation

While doing my reading for class today, the author pointed out that, in America, women are completely over represented when it comes to poverty. We are not talking a simple majority of 50 plus 1. NO, no we are talking a significant majority. I dare not speculate to the number, but I am angry. Population wise, women constitute half so the face of poverty should not be a woman. It should be like flipping a coin - half the time you get the face of a man. But that is not the world we live in. This makes poverty not just an issue of income, but an issue of gender as well. What makes me angrier is that I cannot answer the "why". Why do we tolerate this? Why had I not realized this earlier?? I want to find out. I want to find out why, we as a society choose to ignore this fact. I want to know what I can do to change it. I have found my passion. Now, I must focus my passion and anger into something productive. I believe a quotation from Rage Against the Machine is appropriate: "Your anger is a gift."

Sick and Wrong

It is Friday night in the city of brotherly love (forget sisterly love!) and I am trying to figure out where to go to study. My room is too isolated - it is Friday night after all and some sort of distraction is warranted. So, I will go park myself at a coffee shop and go from there, assuming the coffee shop is open. I'll check in from there...

So I didn't end up going to a coffee shop last night. Instead, I stayed in and worked on statistics, taking time out to shave 2 of my friends heads. It was fun - I have never done that before and it is not as simple as it seems. Thankfully it was with clippers - no bics here! Less room for error that includes bloodshed.
So you are probably wondering why this post is titled "sick and wrong." Well, this is the second weekend night in a row spent with my studies. I honestly don't think it is sick and wrong to study on the weekend evenings; I must buckle down and do what I came here to do - work hard, but still, it seems somewhat depressing that I am not out at a movie or relaxing somewhere! And I just found out I got a job at the Graduate Student Center (GSC) which requires 8-12 hours a week. Add that to being in five classes and I am going to be rather strung out come December. Hence the picture at the top of the blog post. I look at some of the weeks and the massive amounts of work due all at the same time and, well, just try to cope. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that it has been done before and there are my fellow classmates in the same boat. Back to reading. In case you are wondering what I am reading, the present book is entitled, "Dimensions of Social Welfare Policy." My professor was the head of Child Welfare Services in the Department of Health and Human Services during the Clinton administration. She is amazing. Completely amazing.

The Dude Abides

So I just watched "The Big Lebowski" with one of my friends and I cannot tell you how entertaining that movie is. The more you watch it, the more entertaining it becomes. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to refer to myself in the 3rd person and not sound like a dweeb. I suppose my first step would be to decide which noun to become. "The Elmo" is not as catching, but maybe it will grow on me.

Today I had my 2nd classes in Quantitative Analysis aka statistics and Social Welfare and Economics. Secretly, I could be an economist because I like the idea of ceteris paribus (other things equal). Sometimes I really wish we could apply ceteris paribus to my entire life and just focus on ONE thought or issue. That would require discipline and time I simply do not have. It is simple. Overly simple. I think I need to remember that phrase when things get confusing so, if nothing else, I remember to keep it simple. Next step: just do a quick cost/benefit analysis. What does this relationship cost me? How does it benefit me? Can I truly afford that coffee meeting (and I am not talking just cash)? This is how I justify living in a rotting room in graduate student housing which is ridiculously overpriced: not commuting and being able to participate in campus events outweighs my need for a clean, non-greasy carpet. My room is rotting people. Rotting. I have witnesses. Soon I will have photos. But I love convenience. And my health and lungs seem to be fine so I'll survive.

The Elmo Abides.

Back On the Blog!

Hello my friends and family! I decided to start blogging again for many reasons. One is the $13,000 bill I received today from the University of Pennsylvania, due October 1, 2007. Normally, had I received such a bill, I think I would faint due to my inability to breathe followed by many many tears. But not tonight. No, not tonight. I will get to pay my $13,000 for this semester over then next 10 - 15 years of my life, courtesy of federally backed, non-dischargable student loans! Hooray! I know some of you are burdened by crushing student loan debt and rue the day you decided to further your education. I, right now, am not so jaded. You see, I love being here in Philly and so does my brain. I never thought I would say that I am excited to do standard deviations and to discover that I am totally and unequivocally excited to do research?! Research. Who knows, there might be a PhD in my future. Don't practice Dr. Elmo just yet. Stick with Master :-D I might be on the front lines at the World Bank or I might be in a room doing research and presenting it to folks who might be able to do something about it.
All I have to say is that my future is so bright, I must wear shades and, more importantly, I would not be here were it not for your love and support (wipe the tear away now). Seriously. I will end this post with a promise: that I will attempt to update it regularly and that I will continue personal emails. Not to worry. Just write me back. You know who you are. Insert explicative here.