The Stress Monkey Lives

Today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mood is ferocious so beware!!!! I think I am burned out, just a bit. However, I will push on. I have an unbelievable amount of work to do by tomorrow at 1 PM. I like what I have to do with the exception of the oral presentation. Normally, I love doing oral presentations, however, this one's subject matter, which I will not go into, is not something that interests me. I now remember what it is like to have to work on something that does not interest you and it is painful. Add to that I am one page into my 8-10 page paper and have aproximately 300 pages to read and I do not foresee much sleep in my future, which will make me very very grumpy tomorrow. There was a bright spot to my day, though. My dear friend texted me a "good morning" message earlier and I look at it to remind myself there is life out there.
I regained my focus and must press on. I work at the grad center today so if I see anything amusing, I will be sure to update you. Now I know why grad students are grumpy. I did something I thought I would never do - join their ranks.

ENFJ and the inability to focus

Happy Sunday, people! I took the Myers-Briggs test and I am an ENFJ. Do you know what this means? I am a distinctivhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.photo.gif
I am a distinctively expressed extravert, moderately expressed intuitive personality, moderately expressed feeling personality, and distinctively expressed judging personality. What does this mean? You would ask! Here is where you can go to see all about me: http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ_rel.html If you want to take the test yourself, here is the website: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm Tell me what you are! I am interested! I think this is dead on for me, by the way.

Instead of taking personality tests and discerning my strengths and weaknesses, I should be working on my presentation (30-35 minutes in length, total), writing my literature review or reading the 600 page book all of which needs to be done by 1 PM on Tuesday. I am writing my literature review on the income discrepancies between single moms and single dads. Gender wage and hiring discrimination is real, people!!! It is hard for me to not get totally livid while doing my research and stay focused and as objective as possible.

Back to preparing the presentation. Wish me luck. Please distract me by commenting on my blog.

My Mind is Swimming

I just finished an econ class and talked to my TA about PhDs and my career. I need to talk with her more about it. She is getting her PhD in Social Welfare after a successful career doing foundation work. I have been throwing the idea around in my mind since I started my program. I need to figure out how isolating my career would be. I love doing research, but I also love being with people. I know I would be a good teacher. I also know I want to go speak in front of House and Senate Committees on the Hill. I don't want to be working at a school in the middle of nowhere because that is where I can get a job. I know I went to a fabulous school in the middle of nowhere. Can I get a job outside of academia if it isn't a fit for me? This is why I want to talk to my TA about her experience in the non-profit and foundation sector. The other issue is I want to study women's empowerment, but what does that mean? Do I become an expert in women and poverty? I want to do econ without the calculus. I have to be careful because no PhD in social welfare will accept me if I do not want to stay in academia. None. At least none at the schools I would be applying to. Do you realize that the PhD in Social Welfare at Penn is tied for 1st place along with UC Berkley? I would need to do some research about where else I would like to apply, should I decide to pursue my PhD. I want to be the first woman in my family to get her doctorate. I guess the question is whether I will get one, it is when and where.

In the mean time, I have to write a literature review for my research class. It is not as fun as it sounds, dweeby english majors (you know I love you). I am studying the income of single mothers and single fathers in America to see if there is a difference and if so, why. Literature reviews are where I look at the literature (journal articles) out there, see what they say, then see where I am going. In a paper. I need a hypothesis people. How do you measure social capital? I am hoping from my literature, I can figure it all out, enough to write a fantabulous paper at least.

The Longest Print Job...Ever

You will not believe how long it is taking to print my reading for this week. It is only 45 pages and took around 10 minutes. Mind you, this is not even in color. I am at work at the Graduate Student Center, listening to the radio and trying to figure out how in the world I will get my papers down to 7 pages. I have already gone half-way on to the 7th page and haven't even started on Reagan's Block Grants, let alone the 1996 landmark legislation. Oh well.

Enough about this paper, let me tell you about the grad center. So I am here today and in a fairly good mood. I love seeing who comes in here and what they are wearing. It is usually an odd combination of students. For example, this guy looks like he spends some time in the gym and what is he wearing???? Red crocs (no!), badly faded camo shorts and a tee shirt. I am speechless.

Adventures in Research!

Howdy folks. I am sure while I am writing this, you are most likely out enjoying a beautiful early autumn evening while I am in a computer lab, with a printer with no toner (but hey, it is free when it works!) looking at the history of welfare legislation in the United States. Remember that paper on microfinance as a part of a solution to poverty in America? Well, after receiving my paper back from my professor and realizing that I am trying to frame the issue around the solution, I am now in the throws of framing the issue of poverty itself and, specifically, the feminization of poverty in the US. So, here is what I have to write an 8 page paper on by Tuesday:

Often policy issues have a long history that includes perspectives and critical choices that, although made in the past, continue to influence current policy development. This paper requires you to understand the historical evolution of the issue and related policies.

When did this issue first emerge as a public concern?

For each major era in which policy choices were made document
oHow was the issue defined?
oWhat social values were threatened by the issue?
oWhat were the definitions of the problem?
oWhat policy strategy was selected?
oWhat assumptions and values were reflected in the choices?
oHow did social, economic and political factors influence the choices?

Contemporary view
oHow is the issue framed today?
oWhat factors in the current environment influence how this issue is viewed?
oWhat are the major controversies today?

How am I going to do this in only EIGHT pages, including sources???? Ok, so you want to hear about the adventure, not my plight regarding the short length of the paper. Being the amazingly nerdy individual I am, I thought I would go straight to the horse's mouth and take a look at H.R. 3734 Personal Responsiblity and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996, which was the most recent federal social welfare overhaul. Guess how many pages the Bill is. 251 pages. Take a guess at how long the Budget Report for that act is. Guess. If you guessed 2056 pages, you are correct! This is about a year after the Paperwork Reduction Act, I believe. Anyhow, we have not even TOUCHED JFK/LBJ's Great Society nor the mother of them all, Social Security and all the other FDR stuff. I think I am going to have get real general on this one. The feminization lens may not even be applied to this paper. We'll see how it goes. So, for those of you following my microeconomics paper, this has replaced it. But microeconomics will come in the end, not to worry. Homefry-I appreciate your comment and book suggestions! I will definitely look into that once I am back on the topic.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

No picture today. Sorry. I can't get the link to work. I have 2 midterms tomorrow and I want to do well. The thing is I am a bit discouraged. I got back my paper yesterday in my favorite class and I did not do as well as I had hoped. I am meeting with the Professor tomorrow. I am not going to get a 3.0 again. No, not this time. Sometimes I wonder how smart I am and if I am oh so brainy, how do I translate that to a paper? That is why I am taking a writing class for 6 weeks! SIX friggin' weeks!!! But I figure it will help me. You can always improve your writing. It gets better and better the more you do it and it is essential for my future.

I am just a ball of frustration, even though I had a massage earlier today. I think it is because I am not feeling super motivated. But I must keep on keepin' on. I don't want to talk to anyone and I am sitting at work, surrounded by 29 people. They are nice, and leave me alone for the most part. Just call me stress monkey and I promise if you do call me, I won't bite your head off and will try to not wail and gnash my teeth too much.

Statistics, Pandora Radio and Karaoke, Baby!

Today I am studying for my statistics midterm. Standard deviations, anyone?? My life got considerably easier for the moment because my professor moved my paper to be due a week from Tuesday as opposed to in 3 days, which means I will most likely pass both my economics and statistics midterms with flying colors. If all goes according to plan, I will have two more "A"s to add to my cache. I seriously cannot believe it is mid-semester already. My work load is, unfortunately, positively skewed. For those non-statisticians out there, that means the majority of my work is at the end of the semester. In fact, I have no idea if I can even take a break at Thanksgiving. Yup, it is that serious. I need to talk with my aunt and uncle about coming to Up State NY to see them at some point, although the way things are looking now, Thanksgiving is not the time for that. Nona has invited me to go to Buffalo with her and what is attractive about that offer is I don't have to figure out transportation. Her parents are both academics so I know I could hide in the study and work on papers throughout my visit. The thing is the week after Turkey Day is truly, truly brutal. 4 major papers and one reading log. So, I guess the real question is if I have the discipline to work ahead the 3 weeks before Thanksgiving. I have to if I am to survive. I am going to plan things out this weekend.

Presently, I am listening to Pandora radio on line and it is quite kewl. I think I will try this out when I get to work on Monday for my stint. We have to have music on while we are at the desk and I figure that I listen to my music collection all the time so the 6 whole hours a week I have the desk job can be devoted to expanding my musical indy rock horizons.

Last night was quite an evening! It was my friend, Yoshi's, birthday. Nona and I made zucchini pie, delicious salad and purchased a pumpkin cheesecake from the Amish. Our friend, Dee, brought over 2 FABULOUS bottles of wine. After an amazing meal and enlightening conversation, we were off to karaoke, Japanese style. Japanese style is where you get a room with all of your friends and sing to each other as opposed to the whole bar. Yoshi sang "Annie's Song" by John Denver. He was going to sing "Sexy Back" by JT, but they did not have the song, much to all of our dismay. My tutoree, Hiro, joined us as did Steve and Junior. Needless to say, it was great and highly entertaining. Hiro and I's birthdays are next so I anticipate more karaoke in the future.

Take care, my friends. I'll write again soon!

Pop Goes the World

Hello. I am sorry it has been a while between posts. No excuses, all apology. Tonight, I went to my first stitch night session. There were 3 people there, including me, and I have hopes for growth. It was at the Women's Center and that is quite a space here on campus. It is perfectly located and the rooms are spacious and warm. Men are allowed there too, not to worry.

So this week is fairly light, but I am re-writing a paper, doing reading, and researching. Guess what I am researching. Keep guessing. If you guessed federal legislation regarding micro-lending as a poverty reduction policy, you guessed correctly. Is there legislation specifically in this area? I have no clue! Sigh. What's a girl to do? There are a couple projects that were federally funded so I'll see if I can figure out the money trail...if, for some reason you have ANY insight, hook a sister up, aka, tell me. Please. I am not pleading, yet.

What is saving me from despair over this research project??? Listening to "Pop goes the world" by the Men Without Hats. You CANNOT be sad and listen to the song. It just makes you feel good. So, that in contrast to my new Bob Dylan, some Who (Baba O'Riley anyone?!), some country and I am one happy chick. I still love it here. Not to worry, I have had a mini-melt down. There are moments when I cannot wear my brave face. In fact, the Brave Faced Ems took Saturday off. It is important that one does not stuff feelings down. It is also important to not melt down in public unless absolutely necessary. Take care, friends. I'll be posting again soon.