Hired Moving Company, check!

I have hired a moving company to move me from my home in SouthWest Philly to my storage locker in South Philly. It may sound frivolous given that I have no money, but trust me, it is not. I have this ridiculously heavy, beautiful bureau (yes, the one I wrote about in January) and I live on the 3rd floor. Now, I would like to keep my friends as well as maintain good back health, both for me and for them. I now have a deadline to get everything packed and I can do it! I know I can! I may have to rent a car to follow the guys to the storage locker...or I could ride with them back to their place in South Philly and walk....I dunno...

This is one more thing I can check off as done, hooray! Now, I just have to get everything ready to go. I am a bit bummed because I lost my student id on the way into campus. I think it fell out of my pocket. I will get a new one after work...2 weeks, my friends! 2 weeks!

2 weeks, but who's counting?

So, can you believe I fly away in 2 weeks? I finally got my storage locker taken care of and $300 something later, I am in a storage locker in South Philly through the end of February. It is indoors and not too far from the elevator. I can check off one more thing as "done". My parents come in a week. Excitement! You can see the picture of my Momma and me when I was in Colorado for Spring Break. It will be great to have them here. I have a feeling the Stress Monkey will be in full force!

In another note, I am not trying to be a downer, but I have been so sad the past 2 or 3 days. I think that I am very excited about my journey, but it will be lonely for a while. I will eat my meals alone, come home to an empty apartment and be traveling. Traveling ensures many solo meals and lots of knitting to relax. It is not all doom and gloom. I know it is a tremendous adventure! But it will be lonely, at least at first.

Storage Unit, Check

I can cross off one more item on my trans-Atlantic move. On Monday, I am going to see my new 5'X 5' storage unit. Hopefully it is big enough for the few items I want to store here. Part of me wants to get rid of everything, but the other part of me thinks that if I do come back to the States after my internship, it would be nice to not have to start over completely. What does a poor grad student have to store since they moved out with a Jeep Liberty full of stuff? You would ask...well, you may remember that I bought a used, beautiful bureau at the beginning of the semester. I would like to keep that. I also have a microwave, mini fridge, and books. Oh and a bicycle. So I don't anticipate that much stuff, but it is enough to warrant renting space for a month. I am getting rid of the futon since one of the cats peed on it (they have since been banished), but I could not, in good conscience, give a futon with cat pee on it to anyone. It is gross enough that I still have it. So, my packing of the room will consist of 3 piles: Macedonia, Storage, Toss...I am hoping to pack right and really get rid of crap. I think I have a mild case of pack-rat syndrome. But who doesn't need travel sized free gifts from cosmetic companies?? I mean, seriously, you NEVER know when that will come in handy. I know I have 10, but still, maybe I am feeling more vanilla-y than verbena-y on this trip. See, I can ship that stuff to fill in the cracks. I am going to Bratislava, after all. Who knows where is next. I really hope I can get a furnished apartment in Skopje. That would simplify my life. Oh, and you will be glad to know that I actually shopped around and found a g-r-e-a-t price on my storage locker. I know, dreams do come true. Even for me.

Skopje then Bratislava

I forgot to tell you the exciting news! 4 days after my arrival in Skopje, I am going on a UNIFEM staff retreat in Bratislava, Slovakia for 5 days. It is a retreat for all the staff working for UNIFEM in Eastern and Central Europe so I will not only be with my new office cohorts, but meet others from around Europe. I am so incredibly excited!!! My dreams of travel are coming true! And, while on the trip, guess who pays my expenses? If you guessed the UN, you guessed correctly! This is excellent news considering I found out I did not get the $3000 grant I applied for. I am striking out with money! Here is to hoping the Dean pulls through for yours truly...this is a photo of Bratislava.

Bratislava is the capital of Slovakia, located on the Danube river. It borders Austria and Hungary. Vienna is a mere 37 miles from the city. I am hoping my cohorts will explore the city with me...

Out of shape

The funny thing about this picture is that Jennie was taking a picture of the guy just over my shoulder, not me. He is the one next to the woman with blond hair. I obliged the pose and must admit he was good-looking so I had no problem participating in this valiant effort.

Judging from the said picture, one might expect a blog post on being out of shape surrounding consumption of Manhattans. However, that is not the subject of this post. I woke up this morning and my shoulders were sore. Where? Oh right where my arms connect to my torso. It feels like I got a tetnus shot. I could not figure out why I felt this way - usually the soreness stays in my back and varies between upper and lower sections. My hips are a bit sore too. Then, in the car with Cata, I suddenly realized that this soreness is due to riding my bike, just over a mile, mind you, for the first time in a looooong time yesterday. I feel quite pathetic. I walk said distance almost every day, yet riding the bike make my body dully ache. I want to ride my bike this afternoon for a while. Maybe my muscles will get used to being used again. I almost can unglue myself from the computer and writing papers. Only 2 papers to go. Unfortunately, I think one of them will hit the 35 page limit set (it is a group project on women and foreclosure in Philadelphia). Back to the editing and writing. Cheers!

Zee Update!

Hello! My goodness I have been away for too long from this thing. I am working a 8 hour shift at the Grad Center today (you read correctly, 8 freaking hours!) and it is just what I need. Last weekend was spent in Chicago with Jennie and Ste, eating sushi, playing Paper Mario, going to Loyola with Jen, and the 96th floor of the John Hancock building for martinis. It was a wonderful, rejuvenating trip. Now, I have 3 weeks exactly to wrap up my life in Philly.

I have had many realizations the past few days. When I left Jen and Ste in Chicago, I was sad. But I realized that I was sad because I miss them, not because I dread my life in Philly. What a wonderful thing to realize!!! I feel comfortable and at home here. I hope I will feel the same way in Skopje. The other thing I realized is how many people I know at the Grad Center - students who come to study - but that I don't know beyond that. It dawned on me today that I would like to get to know some of these people beyond simple conversation, but with 3 weeks left, I will focus on those who I already know and will miss.

I cannot believe I leave in 3 weeks. Skopje or bust!

Southside Let's Ride: Luda re-visited

I am working on my program evaluation paper (almost done! last paper for the class!) and pondering my recent experience last night with Nona at the Ludacris concert. We had an absolutely fabulous evening. It started with Cosmos and a light dinner at the White Dog, followed by Cosmos at the New Deck Tavern, then off to Luda. After virtually suffering through the opening acts, our man Luda finally came on. We knew most of the songs and really had a great time jumping around. Luda did not sing a single song all the way through nor did he sing Nona and I's favorite song, but it was great fun all the same. Somehow Nona's room this morning smelled like cigarettes and beer, which is strange since we were outside the entire time and consumed no beer! We are not suffering from hangovers - more from life setting in and the hum dum of errands to run and papers to write.

But here is my question. I am struggling with the fact that I consider myself a feminist, yet went to the Ludacris concert. His lyrics are nothing but misogynistic. How can I call myself a feminist, yet support through my presence and cash someone who's message is downright degrading? Is he just rapping and does not mean what he says about women? Do we only tolerate entertainment like this because he is not talking about white women? White women are not the performers in his videos. Does it matter? It does. Words have meaning and power. Too often do we take our communication through speech for granted and I, for one, have been making an effort to respect the power of words, as trivial as they may seem at times. So now, I simply don't know what to think. I do not regret having a wonderful time with my best friend - she is the best date ever! I am glad we went to see Luda with all the undergrads. It is funny that Luda came to Penn in the first place. We always think of tolerating thing we don't like - for example, brussel sprouts. However, we also tolerate ideas or lyrics that are entertaining, but ultimately, spread a message that is the exact opposite of our values. So from this point on, I have a decision to make. What do I want to tolerate and support?

Cutting back on fake sugar

I have decided to cut back on my fake sugar intake. I do not drink that much diet soda, comparatively speaking, but I do need to cut back. I put fake sugar in my coffee, which is my weakest point. I have gone from two splenda packets to one. Eventually, I hope to get to zero fake sugar packets. I am going to try to keep refined sugar at a low and you know, be a bit more healthy. We'll see how well it goes...every once in a while a diet pepsi is just what I need.

...break me down, bury me bury me...

For those of you who are not familiar with 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared Leto's band, the title to this entry is from the refrain from one of their songs "The Kill." Jennie and I always sing "Marry me Marry me" in lieu of "bury me, bury me." The man is hot. Anyhow, this is not about him per se except my EXTREME grief over the fact that I cannot FIND my 30 Seconds to Mars cd. What am I going to do? At least I still have the autographed (yes, I met Jared himself, ladies and he is a super jerk) cover to the cd. But no CD. Troubling.

In other news, I had a cheesy moment this evening. I went to a talk on every one's favorite subject, The Education of Muslim Minorities in Thrace, Greece, and there, on their map of Greece was a wee country to the north simply labeled FYROM. Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia!!!!!! Now, this may seem strange, but sometimes my move to Macedonia is not real to me. It is almost like I am over it because I have been doing things to prepare since February 1st. But then I see FYROM on a map at a presentation and I am so excited! I can hardly stand it!!!!! I needed this so badly. It is hard to see where all the little things I have been doing, like oh writing my will, are leading towards anything. And then, the sun peeps through the clouds and I am reminded what I am working towards. Skopje. Me. Me in Skopje.

The Great Condom Grab in the Grad Center and the Nude Leggings

I am sitting at the desk, minding my own business when I noticed a guy grab one of the free condoms sitting in the bowl near the desk. He was pretending to lean in close to read a flier. He did not fool me! I think if he had not made it a big deal by pretending to read the flier, I would not have even noticed. After grabbing one, he goes to sit back at his computer and there is a girl sitting at the table who is working with him. They are at one of the little 2 person tables. Oh my gosh, she just moved around to sit right next to him! I wonder if she is the lucky lady...not to worry; his secret is safe with me.

I know you are missing the fashion faux pas from last semester, but no one has really caught my eye recently. I think my senses are dulled due to the popularity of early 90s leggings - foul! I guess I saw nude ones today, which were heinous. Why not just spend a little less and buy panty hose or go the extra step and get *gasp* tights! Cut off nude leggings with the trashy lace trim at the bottom are a definite fashion "no." If you must wear leggings, Ladies, at least make them something other than flesh colored or else you may just end up on my blog. And I am not even a true fashionista.

Slightly Morbid Blog Post - you've been warned!

Today I told my parents how I wanted my final remains dealt with, should that ever be an issue. I sent off my application for life insurance today and I thought I should tell them that they are going to be the beneficiaries. I also wanted to make sure they were comfortable with the amount I am going to be insured for - the last thing I would ever want to be is a financial burden to my parents! It was quite difficult to hit send, but I see it, in a way, as a gift to them. They know to cremate me, put my cat and dog with me in the urn and bury me at the church near where they want to be. I hope they never have to refer to the email I just sent ever again.

St. Jude Candles

I had my mother buy me candles of St. Jude at the grocery store in Colorado. St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes. I am not sure exactly what I feel is a lost cause, but I do know that burning the candle makes me feel a bit better. Maybe St. Jude is petitioning God for me on my behalf. You are supposed to say the prayer to St. Jude and then enter your petition at the end. I don't have a petition. I will have to think about this a bit more. I hope I can get St. Jude candles in Skopje.

In other news, I did something a bit crazy today. I applied for a job with Transparency International to be the Programme Coordinator for the EU + Sub-region. I would be based in Berlin, Germany. They say they want someone to start in May 2008. If they want me, they will have to wait until I finish my internship in Skopje, but I was excited to read the job description and think I have the skills they are looking for, despite my lack of international agency experience. I have coordinated projects, am able to communicate and email and travel. I think one of the gifts my program has given me is the confidence to apply to such a job. If I hear back from Transparency International, I'll let you know.

Let me set the stage for you so you can picture what it is like for me. I am burning my St. Jude candle, which is unscented, and another scented candle. I don't remember the smell but it is crisp and clean smelling. I am burning cd's into my iTunes while editing my Program Evaluation paper. The music playing through the speakers is Heart, an acoustic album of their songs. I like it a lot. Musashi, Nona's yellow lab is laying next to me - he gets to stay with Auntie Elmo tonight! I should get back to work, but I hope you have a great week, friends! Oh, the picture of me is with my other, less attractive glasses. RRRROOOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!

The Ghost In You

That is the name of the song I am listening to as I attempt to re-write my program evaluation proposal. Can you tell from the pictures how riveting it is?

The great visa update is: I don't need one at this point because I am working for an international organization and, basically, can enter on the 90 day temporary visa and make sure I leave the country periodically. This is a relief. I just wish I had been told this prior to contacting embassy officials.

In other news, I am now attempting to secure a $100,000 term life insurance policy, the final requirement of my internship. You wold not believe how difficult this is and how much time it will take. I am just trying to take deep breaths and not get to upset about it - that doesn't help; it is so frustrating. The main problem is that I will be residing in another country. Insurance companies are the bane of my existence right now. They make it so difficult and expensive to purchase their services then try to screw you out of them if you actually need to utilize what you purchased in the first place.

Enough negativity! I am working on things this weekend so when I go see my sister in Chicago, I won't have too much work to do! This is very exciting. I am resisting buying a cute outfit or dress because I know once in Skopje, I will want to get stuff there, assuming I have the financial means. I am really looking forward to seeing Jennie and Ste. Back to the papers

Grant Update, Sharky Time

I found out today that I did not get the $6,000 grant I applied for. While I am disappointed, I know it is for the best. How is this for the best? Basically, I would have had to spend money to fly back to Penn in the fall to give a presentation on a research project that isn't complete and potentially not what I proposed in the first place. Soooo, my life is a bit simplified, come September. But I am still sad. I hope I do not have to take out more loans. Here's to hoping I get the $3,000 fellowship and that the Dean can drum up support for me! Did I mention the Macedonian Embassy is asking me how I will pay for my time in Skopje? :D It never ends.

Today, I am wearing what I call my Shark Skirt. It is silvery grey and looks like shark skin. I have a review board meeting (remember those pesky homeless housing proposals?) and I want them to think I am a professional and that I know what I am talking about! Ha! I figure I would intimidate them with my shark-like appearance. I resisted filing my teeth into points. I don't really want to intimidate people, but I do want to feel confident, which can be intimidating. Ok, I am rambling. Back to the books.

I am a professional...

You might be wondering what I am a professional at. I am a professional at waiting. You would think that by this point, I would be cool, calm and collected while waiting for oh, say, to hear about my grant funding for Macedonia. For the most part, I am. However, I had to give an itemized budget to the Dean of my school along with my objectives for my internship so he can ask around for money on my behalf. I am honored he is going to bat for me. This wee project made me realize 2 things. 1. I am way short of the nine month budget if I don't get the grants. I mean thousands of dollars short. 2. I don't have objectives. The first realization is a "well duh" moment, but I hadn't internalized my financial situation and how much I need some outside funding for this fabulous endeavor. Hopefully, between the 3 applications, I will get some financial support so that I can eat something besides ramen. Do they even have ramen in Macedonia? I'll let you know if I need a ramen/macaroni and cheese care package. On to the "no objectives" realization. Remember when I wrote that I had anticipation and not expectations about my upcoming adventure? Did I write about that? Well, any how, for the first time, I had to be selfish and say what this opportunity will do for me and what I hope to gain. I am so used to selling myself as an asset or fabulous researcher (ha!), that to actually say that I hope to get a fabulous job in international human rights is, well, difficult. I came up with 3 objectives:

1. My research will inform UNIFEM policies and advance the standing of women in Macedonia and the region.
2. I will understand the nightmare that is the UN bureaucracy, which will help me navigate the UN system and be a tremendous asset for my future since they are kind of a big deal in women's human rights.
3. A job. Maybe even with UNIFEM and if not with them, a "reputable" NGO or non-profit that focuses on the region.

I decided not to add the desire for a dog. Somehow, I think "pet ownership" is not what the Dean and potential benefactors are looking for. All joking aside, these are some lofty objectives. Seriously, "informing UNIFEM policy" is not like oh learning to knit a scarf or something. I am not knocking knitting - I love it, but I digress. I realized that I get nervous setting goals because that means that there is a chance I will not meet them or, even worse, be so focused on the goals that I miss what is important. The Dean did me a huge favor by forcing me to think about this. Now, here is to hoping I get some support from my ridiculously endowed school. Thankfully, Penn is hoping to build its international presence. I am an opportunity for them to do so and I will not disappoint.