I turned in my UNIFEM application yesterday so now begins the waiting. It was not as traumatic as I expected. I remember applying to Penn at the beginning of the summer and my stomach was so upset the day I mailed everything off. I continued to be a bundle of nerves until they told me a month later of my acceptance. Then came the whirlwind of figuring everything out to move 2000+ miles...this is much less emotional and I will just wait. I have to get an internship no matter what so if I don't end up in the Balkans and stay in DC or NYC, that would be ok with me. I just can't believe I am already lining up things for the summer and I should be applying for jobs. My insecurity from the prior blog is eased a bit and it could all be due to exhaustion.
I am going to Mississippi on January 1st. This is very exciting, but the idea of being back to work in 3 weeks or so is a bit overwhelming. I leave for Colorado on Saturday and imagine I will sleep for many days. I talked with my Gramma last night and we are planning to put many puzzles together over the break. She was so sad I was only going to be around for a couple weeks so I suggested she simply move to live near me, once I am settled. Which could be never.
This brings me to the subject of my birthday, which is fast approaching. I will be 29 in 3 days and am thinking a lot about my future. Part of this thing with UNIFEM is considering that I am not getting any younger and if I ever want to have a family, maybe trotting around the globe is not the way to go about it. The overriding feeling, however, is that if this opportunity arises, I must take it. I really have no control over my life (none of us do) so staying Stateside does not ensure anything more than traveling abroad does. All I can do is make the best decision I can with the information I have. And, remember that when people are my Gramma's age, 80, they don't regret what they did; they regret what they didn't do.
2 comments:
exactamente em! you will never regret going to the balkans. even if it turns out to be a bad experience because you are lonely or the cultural differences are overwhelming... even then, in retrospect you will always be glad you went. you will see another culture, impact a different part of the world, expose yourself to all sorts of new things and new ideas. you are bound to grow immensely from the experience. and as for boys... well, they are overrated anyways ^_-
Congrats on the internship application! That's a big check to have made. The experience in the Balkans will be ama-zing, no doubt, but one of the great things, Em, is that amazement tends to follow your heels. Regardless of where you'll end up, I know you're going to do an awesome job and have fun doing it! :)
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