I am a professional...

You might be wondering what I am a professional at. I am a professional at waiting. You would think that by this point, I would be cool, calm and collected while waiting for oh, say, to hear about my grant funding for Macedonia. For the most part, I am. However, I had to give an itemized budget to the Dean of my school along with my objectives for my internship so he can ask around for money on my behalf. I am honored he is going to bat for me. This wee project made me realize 2 things. 1. I am way short of the nine month budget if I don't get the grants. I mean thousands of dollars short. 2. I don't have objectives. The first realization is a "well duh" moment, but I hadn't internalized my financial situation and how much I need some outside funding for this fabulous endeavor. Hopefully, between the 3 applications, I will get some financial support so that I can eat something besides ramen. Do they even have ramen in Macedonia? I'll let you know if I need a ramen/macaroni and cheese care package. On to the "no objectives" realization. Remember when I wrote that I had anticipation and not expectations about my upcoming adventure? Did I write about that? Well, any how, for the first time, I had to be selfish and say what this opportunity will do for me and what I hope to gain. I am so used to selling myself as an asset or fabulous researcher (ha!), that to actually say that I hope to get a fabulous job in international human rights is, well, difficult. I came up with 3 objectives:

1. My research will inform UNIFEM policies and advance the standing of women in Macedonia and the region.
2. I will understand the nightmare that is the UN bureaucracy, which will help me navigate the UN system and be a tremendous asset for my future since they are kind of a big deal in women's human rights.
3. A job. Maybe even with UNIFEM and if not with them, a "reputable" NGO or non-profit that focuses on the region.

I decided not to add the desire for a dog. Somehow, I think "pet ownership" is not what the Dean and potential benefactors are looking for. All joking aside, these are some lofty objectives. Seriously, "informing UNIFEM policy" is not like oh learning to knit a scarf or something. I am not knocking knitting - I love it, but I digress. I realized that I get nervous setting goals because that means that there is a chance I will not meet them or, even worse, be so focused on the goals that I miss what is important. The Dean did me a huge favor by forcing me to think about this. Now, here is to hoping I get some support from my ridiculously endowed school. Thankfully, Penn is hoping to build its international presence. I am an opportunity for them to do so and I will not disappoint.